Killer Space Lemmings 3 is a fish-out-of-water, love triangle,
sci-fi / horror story that takes place in one of Earth's deep space colonies in the
year 2331. Lieutenant Commander Bill Sharpton (Fred Halloway) has been sent to assume command of the colony's defenses. In a flashback sequence,
we're shown a young Lieutenant Sharpton leading a charge of United Alliance Space Marines against some green-skinned, space armor-wearing
aliens suffering the usual Trek-like skin conditions. An unfortunate turn of events kills Bill's entire squad, one by one. Bill manages to survive
and destroys a crucial ammo dump, ending the battle. This action earns him a promotion and numerous decorations but devastated by the loss of his
friends under his command, Bill is no longer combat-worthy and receives this assignment as a kind of mental vacation.
On reaching Alpha Centauri colony Delta Cygni, he finds that his command is in the Jamaican sector of the space colony. There are some funny and
awkward moments when he meets the Rastafarian transplants who introduce him to a potent form of space marijuana. On regaining consciousness, he
meets the colony's doctor, Elsa Bergman (Chelsea Whistler). Despite the obvious physical chemistry, Elsa and Bill don't hit it off at first.
Elsa has a husband who was declared missing after a planetary scouting expedition but she believes him to still be alive. Bill is afraid to let
anyone else get close to him. But just as the two of them begin to fall in love, Elsa's long lost husband, Victor (Frank Lagos) returns with
terrible news: alien space lemmings have landed on the planet and are massing to attack the colony. The rest of the movie deals with both the
love triangle and the struggle to survive against seemingly infinite numbers of a small, intelligent, and vicious foe.
While its title may suggest that it belongs to the family of campy, slasher films that were prominent in the mid 80's, Invasion of the Killer
Space Lemmings 3 manages to transcend the genre and invoke the deeper themes of angst, alienation, and the complex environmental revenge effects
that we're facing today. One scene shows Bill standing alone under the night sky in the middle of a vast, green marijuana field looking up at the
unfamiliar constellations. The moon slowly sets and we see his haunted face gradually covered by darkness, foreshadowing the conflicts to come.
Another scene evokes Ingmar Bergman's great movie
The Seventh Seal when Elsa dreams that she is playing chess with a shadowy figure which reveals
itself to be the Leader of the Killer Space Lemmings. Later the ironic origins of the Space Lemmings evoke
Joseph Heller's Catch-22 and
Stanley Kubrick's Dr.
Strangelove.
The writer/director, M. Trattorio, is a relative newcomer to the movie making business but might have hit a home run here. He combines the
lighting and blurred-action cinematography of Italian neo-realism with the framing and forced perspective techniques developed by
Orson Welles for Citizen Kane to create a film where every frame matters. Improving on its
predecessors filmed in 1973 and 1985, Killer Space Lemmings 3 takes advantage of some of today's advanced CGI combined with John Woo fight
choreography during the film's many exciting action sequences. The finished battle sequences are as exciting, nerve-wracking, and
heart-wrenching as those we see in Braveheart,
Kenneth Branagh's Henry
V, and Saving Private Ryan. The enemy consists of photo-realistic space lemmings with
distinctly sympathetic behaviors. We know these rodents are evil but still feel a disquieting unease when they are killed in the dozens by the
desperate humans. The film only has two real weaknesses. One is the ridiculous and misleading title which was a poor decision on the part of
the producers. The other is the soundtrack which is simply serviceable and relies too much on synthesized strains that have the unfortunate
effect of evoking the memory of awful 70's sci-fi movies.
We strongly recommend this movie to any fans of Invasion of the Killer Space Lemmings 1 and 2 but also for anyone interested in the art of
movie-making. Space Lemmings 3 does for the killer alien genre what Titanic did for the historical romance. This movie has a real plot with
characters that are frail and human but courageous. The ending of the movie left most of the audience in tears. You don't get this kind of
pathos from an ordinary monster flick. We give Invasion of the Killer Space Lemmings 3 a 7 on the Good Movie Scale and a 9 on the Bad Movie
Scale. Leave the kids at home.
Our Drive-In Totals:
.8 breasts (the first non-zero count we've seen this year)
33 dead bodies
840 dead Space Lemmings
841 dead Space Lemmings
842 dead Space Lemmings
...
1 Hot Rod
Space Spam
Giant Toaster Oven
Victoria's Not-So-Secret
A Winnebago
6 Weldings and a Urinal
Space Rastafarians
Ye Olde "Stay on Target" Moment
Getting Voted Off the Island
No Woman, No Cry
The Usual Suspects
A Chess Game
Talking Doors
Talking Chairs
Talking Beds
Talking Toilets
Talking Paper Clips
"I was gonna turn the laser fence on, but I was high..."
Vorpal Lemming
Vorpaled Lemming
Magic Cheese
Kung Fu
Gun Fu
Knife Fu
Laser Bazooka Fu
Water Balloon Fu
Lightning Fu
Test Tube Fu
Five Deadly Venoms Fu
Vegetable Peeler Fu
Palm Pilot Fu
Claw Fu
Fang Fu
Soap Fu
Fusion Bomb Fu
Nova Fu
Cliff Fu
April Fu (credit goes to Vernard Martin for this one)
Good Movie Scale: 7
Bad Movie Scale: 9
