Movie Review: M:I-2(2000)

Idris Hsi, Joel Fuernsinn, J.D Forinash, May 25, 2000

One thing that Hollywood has managed to display over and over again is it's total lack of understanding of genre, history, origins, physics, technology, and most important - class. The original Mission Impossible series had class, as did the original Avengers series, Wild Wild West series, the movie Sabrina (with Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart), the movie Psycho, and so on. Many of today's movie makers recognize correctly that these had merit but they don't seem to grasp that these qualities come from good writing, good directing, good acting, and an attention to the craft of storytelling - not special effects.

The old Mission Impossible series was about clever planning, reversals, very ingenious gadgets (for the time), spycraft, and psychological warfare. It was about subterfuge - note the similarity to the word "subtle" there. The original IM team led by Rollin Hand (Martin Landau) and the later IM teams led by Jim Phelps (Peter Graves) were fun to watch. The shows were brilliant and exemplified subtlety. These weren't shows with running gunfights and car chases. They were about avoiding gunfights and conflict. They were especially about teamwork. My second favorite moment in each show was the beginning briefing and the selection of the team. My favorite moment was the look on the target's face at the end of the show as he or she realizes that they were the victim of a sting.

The first Mission Impossible movie with Tom Cruise had absolutely none of the qualities that I enjoyed in the original Mission Impossible series. And in fact, the IM leader, Jim Phelps, becomes evil in the movie for stupid reasons. It was obvious that the people who made the movie showed about as much understanding of the original series as Joel Schumacher did for the Batman genre with his stunning masterpieces Batman Forever and Batman and Robin.

MI-2 follows closely in the path of the last one. But at least the second Mission Impossible has John Woo directing.

John Woo has mastered the art of making action look cool. You're not going to this movie to watch a Mission Impossible movie. You're going to see cool gun battles, neat visuals, and lots of explosions. In fact, if you don't believe me, wait for the middle 10 minutes of the movie where Ethan Hunt and the gratuitous love interest have their major romantic moment. This takes place after the scene stolen straight out of Goldeneye. A few minutes of the stupid dialogue and the overdone seduction scenes and you too will be screaming for a little chop-socky or even a small explosion somewhere. Did I mention that we found that whole romantic subplot a little unbelievable?

To be absolutely fair, I'll first highlight the movie's positive points:

John Woo directed the movie.
Some awesome motorcycle stunts!
The kangaroos hopping across the plains were cool.

Now the negative ones:

Predictability - turn your brain off for this one. Remember that you're not watching this for a clever plot or spycraft. There are no surprises in the movie. Period.
Tom Cruise is no Chow Yun-Fat.
Written by the same guys who brought you the Star Trek: The Next Generation movies.
The romantic subplot - Why introduce a female character that has potential to be a competent, slick professional at the beginning of the film and then turn her into a liability? Because she's cute and has "victim" written all over her. One of the lines in the movie babbles on about how in order to have a hero you need a villain. Well, by Hollywood standards, in order for a male hero to act like a hero, he's needs a girl to save. Oops - I gave something away. Along those lines there's also a scene towards the end that will bring to mind the Monty Python and the Holy Grail scene that made famous the line "I'm getting better."
The useless sidekicks - Villain sidekicks are usually useless but this one was a throwaway. I think he only existed to fulfill two plot devices (one of the devices horribly fails the "Within Reasonable Bounds" criteria for believing plot devices). What's more unforgivable are the hero's sidekicks. Why were they in the movie? Hard to say. If it wasn't for the IM formula, they wouldn't have been. We never got to know them, like them, or care about them. Only one good line is given to the sidekicks in the entire movie and the rest of their dialogue and activities are just distractions. They are no better than walking and talking props.
Ebert's Rule of Death - The movie follows Roger Ebert's rule to the letter. It states that miscellaneous characters can be killed pretty much by patting them on the back, while it takes an act of God to kill the main hero or villain. Ah-choo - oops, there goes a thug.
The plot - ... I'm sorry ... I can't write from laughing too hard. There's a crucial moment in the movie where the villain's motivations are revealed. The whole audience began to howl with derisive laughter. You'll know it when you see the scene. Please give the gift of laughter in your own theater. Just think Initial Public Offering.

Anyhow. It's not a Mission Impossible movie. It's a Tom Cruise vehicle. If that works for you, great! Otherwise, go see it at a matinee but go with lots of friends with a good sense of humor - you'll have a good time if you don't take it too seriously.

Our Drive-In Totals

37 dead bodies (It's only PG-13)
0 breasts (It's only PG-13)
20 exploding drums
7 exploding cars
3 exploding laptops
3 exploding SUVs
2 exploding motorcycles
1 exploding van
1 exploding airliner
1 exploding lab
1 exploding door
1 exploding wall
1 exploding room of explosive cannisters
1 really springy revolver
1 bulletproof hypodermic
1 gratuitous bedroom scene
1 alarm that only detects explosions
1 "This Is The Only Computer That Can Do It" Plot Device
2 motorcycles with quick-change street-slicks to dirt-knobby tires
3 obligatory shots of the Sydney Opera House - it must be an Australian
law that all movies shot in Australia must have the Sydney Opera
House in at least one scene of the movie.
Many obligatory Merchandise Plugs (This is a list by itself.)
3 Ethan Hunt masks (guess who I'm going to be for Halloween!)
10 unnecessary fu-free minutes devoted to romantic plot exposition
5 unnecessary fu-free minutes of denouement
Gratuitous John Woo Stuff:
slow motion photography
silent scenes with just soundtrack music
lots of flying boots to the head
acrobatic, graceful gunplay
flowing garments
sliding across the floor with two guns blazing
whirling 360 with guns blazing
Mexican standoff
Kung Fu
Gun Fu
Rock Fu
Pigeon Fu
Knife Fu
Gun Fu
Grenade Fu
Pipe Bomb Fu
Motorcycle Fu
Gun Fu
Bomb Fu
Car Fu
SUV Fu
Gun Fu
Helicopter Fu
Semi Fu (Trucks - Not "Half a Loaf of Kung Fu")
Antidote Fu
Virus Fu
Gun Fu

5 out of 10 on the Good Movie Scale
7 out of 10 on the Bad Movie Scale