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Musical Solos

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Musical Solos

When I think about you, I touch myself.

When I think about Madonna, I touch myself for the very first time.

When I think about Devo, I whip myself.

When the moon is in the seventh house, I allign myself with Mars.

When I think no one can see me driving in my car, I pick my nose.

When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, I don't really do much.

When I think about AT&T, I reach out and touch myself.

When my underwear rides up on me, I adjust myself.

When I think about Malcolm X, I touch myself by any means necessary.

When I think about John Lennon, I imagine all the people touching themselves.

When I think about Jeffrey Dahmer, I eat myself.

When I think about MC Hammer, I can't touch myself.

When I think of Dr. Seuss, then I touch a Garbanoos.

When I think about post nasal drip, I blow myself.

When I think about fencing, I touchee myself.

When I think about Hamelt, I touch, I touch myself, I do confess.

When I masterbate, I think about you.

When I think about Herb Alpert, I touch of brass myself.

When I think about Star Trek, I boldly touch myself where no man has touched myself before.

When I think about Star Trek: The Next Generation, I boldly touch myself where no one has touched myself before.

When I think about Diff'rent Strokes, I touch myself to the beat of just one drum.

When I think about The Partridge Family, I come on, get happy.

When I think about Alannis Morrisette, I got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is touching myself.

When I think about Bill Clinton, I feel my pain.

When Bill Clinton runs for President, I don't stop thinking about touching myself.

When I think about the Telecommunications Bill, I T---- M-------.

When I think about the Divynals, I one touch wonder myself.

When I think about Steve Forbes, I touch 17% of everyone.

When I think about Polaroid, I insta-touch myself.

When I think about lame internet jokes, I touch-myself.com.

When I think about King Midas, I don't touch myself there, no, way. (Because, ya see,, it would turn to gold. And that's bad. It's a function over form thing....or maybe form over function, whichever. Really, it's very funny if you think of it that way....no, really.)

When I thinkabout the Incredible Hulk, I don't touch myself; you wouldn't like me when I touch myself.

When I think about It's a Wonderful Life, every time I touch myself, an angel gets its wings.

When I think about Prince, I perform the act formally known as touching myself.

When I think about analysis, I get in touch with myself.

When I'm on fire, I stop, drop, and touch myself.

When I think about Jerry Seinfeld, I touch myself; what's with that?

When I think about Christmas, I touch my elf

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